we live on a mountain

a male update

2006-04-08T13:11:00.000-07:00

beer... good

A female update

2006-04-07T21:31:00.000-07:00

I have this weird thing. Everytime the season starts to change I get a little depressed or maybe a better word for it is pensive. I get stuck in my head with all the memories that go along with the current season and the one it's becoming. So right now I'm thinking about all the memories that go with spring and summer.

So much change is happening. We moved out of our first apartment in denver. We're living with two of our friends pete and amy and their little boy elliott (who is my new alarm clock-which i love most mornings-I love hearing his little voice first thing).
Amy is pregnant and due late June, which I can't wait for. So far it's great and I believe we're going to learn so much from them. They are great parents.

I am (Alyssa) going to counseling and it's intense. If you really want to know more about this ask me. I'm learning so much and my world is being shaken, but in a good way.

Jesus is teaching me so much about me, marriage, and mostly grace.

I've joined a tuesday night women's bible study with about 6 other women. I at first did not want to give up another night I havning off, but then decided if I don't join this, then I have no reason to keep bitching about not feeling more connected to women here. So it's a plus either way. I could get to be really close with these women and learn so much or I could have a horrible time and still have a reason to bitch..........just kidding. Last tuesday was our first night and honestly it was amazing. It is a group of women I am already close to or women I want to be close to. I can tell the Lord has big plans for this group.

Work is at a turning point. I love and hate it at the same time. So either I will stay or begin looking for a new job soon. Please keep this in your prayers if you do that kind of thing. I have been really wanting a case manager position and i've been looking else where, but I just discovered a case manager position is opening at my agency, which i love and don't really want to leave. so? Who knows?

That's all for now.........will most more soon. hopefully.

-alyssa

howdy

2006-03-30T09:42:00.000-08:00

sorry we haven't posted anything lately... you lurkers out there. heres is a quick run-down:

-our apartment management are a bunch of jerks
-we are moving in with our gracious friends, pete, amy, and their little boy elliot for a couple months while we save a little and look for a new place
-i am looking for a new job as a certified nurse assistant
-alyssa is preparing for a trip to costa ricathrough our church in a couple months (you might call it a "missions trip)

needless to say, we have been busy. hopefully we can expound on these things a little later.

love and blessings!

-c

ok, minnesota...

2006-03-13T09:31:00.000-08:00

...gimme my wife back!

we used to have to schedule alone time away from eachother every once and a while. now we have to schedule time to hang out together. 4 days away was too long... i miss alyssa!

-c

"yay, scooter!" or "boo, weather!"

2006-03-08T18:37:00.000-08:00

so, for the last week it's been beautiful outside. high 60's to low 70's, sunshine out the wazoo. so, i finally bought my scooter yesterday, skipped class driving it around, had a blast. today? rain, sleet, and then snow. dammit. the next week or so promises to be rainy, snowy, and will most likely barely make it out of the 30's. well, at least i had fun yesterday.

-c

my soon-to-be new ride

2006-02-25T13:40:00.000-08:00

...sweet...

-c

something that deserves a little attention...

2006-02-14T07:50:00.000-08:00

i realize as i read over this blog, that if someone were to come here to read about us and catch up, there is something missing that's a pretty major part of our lives: Jesus. i'm going to speak for myself on this one, though i know alyssa and i are coming from pretty much the same place.

so i just want to say that in the last couple years I have grown so much in my relationship with Jesus. I have fallen so deeply in love again. i am still a moron much of the time, but God's grace, love, and power are poured out endlessly. the Holy Spirit just permeates every part of my life and i love it! i could go on and on like this, and maybe i will later, but for now i just want to all let you know that the love of Jesus has totally captivated me.

-c

in case their was any confusion...

2006-02-09T13:11:00.000-08:00

the below post was written by alyssa.

-conor

My Oprah Bra Intervention

2006-02-08T22:49:00.000-08:00

If you did not see the episode of Oprah where she brought in Nordstroms to have a bra/jean intervention you need to see it.

Basically they pulled women out of the audience to have a proper bra fitting. It was awesome. Most women are wearing the wrong bra!

Last week both of my bras broke (the underwire snapped). It was time for my O bra intervention. So I drove to Nordstroms and yes, my life was changed. I am no longer pulling up my straps every few minutes, trying to get my boobs to stay in the bra, pulling it down in the back, hanging out the bottom, falling out the top. It's amazing.

So I encourage every woman I know now to go and do it! Only so many of my friends are prego and have to buy nursing bra's......so ladies afterwords you owe it to yourselves.

hey, anyone remember...

2006-02-05T08:48:00.000-08:00

Afghanistan? from the Guardian article:

"A United Nations report concluded last year that Afghanistan remains one of the world's least developed countries, ranking 173rd out of 178 countries surveyed. For every 1,000 babies born in Afghanistan, 142 die before their first birthday. An Afghan woman dies in pregnancy every half-hour. Overall life expectancy is estimated at just under 42 years. Three-quarters of adults are illiterate and few girls go to school. But no problem haunts the country more than its displaced peoples - the UN estimates four million Afghans are refugees in Pakistan and Iran, and another two million are uprooted in their own country. The total, a fifth of the population, represents the largest refugee crisis in the world."

-c

once upon a time (for alex)...

2006-01-20T07:56:00.000-08:00

there was an irish dragon who lived in chicago. his most favorite things in life were lobster (rock lobster, to be more accurate), theatre, not-drinking, baseball, and a nice saturday in the park... that is until he met molly. molly was a beautiful irish red-headed human girl. they fell in love and were engaged to be wed. now dooley still likes all those things, but he loves doing them with molly.

-conor

some words to read, and pictures to look at : an update

2006-01-07T09:53:00.000-08:00

alyssa and i have been really busy in the last couple weeks. in fact, this is my first day off in about 2 weeks. we spent christmas day with my family. it really was one of the most fun christmas days i've ever had. we don't really ask for anything for christmas presents, and have told our families not to worry about buying us anything if they don't want to, because we aren't going to make a big deal out of presents anyway. despite that, my parents (really, my mom) bought us an amazing digital camera. i have never owned a camera, unless you count the diposable ones. so, i am poumped about that. i took plenty of pictures from our trip to iowa, which was a lot more fun than i thought it would be. even though there was plenty of family drama, i had a blast hanging out with the in-laws (with a couple exceptions), family friends, we spent a lot of time with cooper (the nephew), and the wedding was great. and i have the photos to prove it...

juliet, the spoiled bitch of the family

much fun was also had with clinton,
who is visiting us next month

alyssa, cooper, and cody...
from left to right

the grandparents grable

a few seconds before 2006...
no alcohol was involved... seriously

this is my step-brother-in-law richard

thats some cute shit

thea and aaron,
in the process of getting married

a very happy bride,
and a very horny groom

at the reception,
iowans freaking love them some mayo

the bride

a couple i don't know rocking both
the dance floor and everyones face off

my hot-as-hell wife... beautiful

dragons

-conor

Happy Fucking Birthday

2005-12-24T15:19:00.000-08:00

Yes, Today is my 25th birthday. And I just got back from the doctor.......why? Because I have strep throat for the THIRD TIME IN TWO MONTHS

Someone needs to pay for this.

-alyssa

Ok here are your stories........No DRAGONS!

2005-12-19T11:32:00.000-08:00

Because I spend more time at work than anywhere else I have to tell you about "my boys."

1. Stephen is "my little queen" I don't call him this to his face, but he seriously is.
We took the boys to the Aquarium.....very fun. Stephen says, "Oh my god Alyssa, come here! I have to show you favorite fish!" I walk over and he is staring at an aquarium with love and passion in his eyes and his hands on his hips. His favorite fish was.......The Rainbow Fish! Oh I smiled so big. He says, "Alyssa isn't just so fabulous!
This is why he's my "little queen."

2. We got a new child who drives me crazy. He's on no medication, which is not the norm at a residential treatment center and am excited when we get kids who are not on meds. It makes me feel like I'm really knowing them. BUT this kids needs some Riddalin intravenus STAT! Seriously.
Anyway.......
A "Sub" came in to cover a shift yesterday. She walks in and sits down and I say, "I really hope the next staff shows up soon so I can make it to church." She says "That's where I just came from." Colton, the new child, says, "Aren't you Mexican?" She replys, "Yes." He says, "And you go to church??" She shakes her head yes. "Do they speak Mexican there?"
"No honey they speak English" And he says "Hmm...." and walks away.
We were laughing so hard! Mexicans? At church?

3. A little boy walked up to my co-worker Jessie and says, "You look different today? Are you wearing face stuff?" (meaning make-up) She said, "Yes" and he says, "Oh.....you almost look beautiful today." But he really didn't meant it to be mean, he was really trying to be genuine. Oh our socially awkward little boys :)

That's all for now.........I'll write more soon.

i spent at least 4 hours playing super mario sunshine today...

2005-12-12T23:39:00.000-08:00

and i don't regret one minute of it.

-conor

i am generally sympathetic toward "liberal" social causes...

2005-11-11T18:40:00.000-08:00

...but planned parenthood really pisses me off.

the FDA wants to use labels that warn that condoms "greatly reduce, but do not eliminate" the risk of some STD's. that label is perfectly accurate. i can see no agenda behind it other than condom companies covering their asses and completely informing their consumers.

planned parenthood's response? they think that kind of label will discourage people from using condoms, and therefore the'll have unprotected sex. just like a parachute isn't guaranteed to open, so people have started jumping without them. whiny bitches.

-conor

you know you have something pretty fuckin' cool...

2005-10-27T18:52:00.000-07:00

when after two years of marriage you love her more than the day you were married.

-conor

What Condition is my Condition in?

2005-10-04T10:52:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted here in awhile......so I'll give an update.

1. Work. The funniest kid comment in the last few weeks, "You make me want to vomit out of my ass cheeks.
Work is really hard right now. We're in a total state of transition due to workers leaving and new ones coming so the kids are out of control. Little bastards....just kidding, sort of. I love them and I feel like kicking all their asses at the same time, until I have the chance to step back and look at why they're really like this, then compassion sets in.

2. Anna's visit. It was awesome, so good to see her and just to spend time with a familiar face. Although, Sunday morning at 4:30am I had an episode. Out of no where I woke up needing to run to the bathroom. My ass was like a fire hose as well as my mouth......at.the.same.time. My legs felt like they were on fire, and I thought I was going to pass out and no one would know. So I started yelling, "help!" Conor came to my rescue which was horrible (first time I've really pooped in front of him). It was a humbling experience to say the least. When he arrived into the smelly hole I was white and my lips were purple. I still have no idea what the hell happened.

3. Apartment drama. So there used to be this guy that lived down stairs with his girlfriend. He was so awkward, but friendly. Then, his girlfriend stole all his bank/credit cards and vanished. He told us he got lonely so he started letting homeless people crash with him. Soon we had an array of people coming in and out of apartment complex. Next thing we know, he stops talking to us and has scabs all over his arms. Our landlord walked in to his apartment to see to him and his new roommates boiling crack on the stove. Awesome right. Wait.it.get's.better. So this was a few months ago. On thrusday however a woman told me that her apartment had been robbed. Another neighbor said she saw this old tennate coming out of her place and said he was staying with her. This was news to her. She called the cops. The apartment manager showed up to be there for the investigation. The manager than called his handy man and lock smith to change the code on the front door and to inquire about changing all the locks. The handy man then goes up to the store closet to get the lock box that has all the master keys to each apartment. Herman, the handyman, opens the closet door to see the, crack boiler sleeping in the closet. SCARY. He was arrested for tresspassing, but you know he has copies to all the keys. The locks still have not been changed.

3. My condition. Honestly, I've been depressed. I've been really homesick for MN. Ontop of that the seasons are changing and everytime that happens I get depressed for at least a couple weeks. The colors here are mostly yellow which makes me long for MN even more, to see bright reds and oranges.

I'm sad that I may not get to see Kacie pregnant at all, that I don't get to watch her physically grow and to be apart of this major life change.

I try to spend time with Jesus, but have no motivation.

Conor is loosing weight by the day it seems and I can't motivate myself to get off my ass, which is frustraiting to him since we made a deal and I asked him to hold me accountable. I'm lazy. I'm sad. What else can I say.

I've decided to go to counseling, again. The last time I went was my junior year of college. The next summer held events that should have forced me to be picked up by an ambulance and taken to counseling, but I couldn't do it. So now it's time. Most of you probably know what I'm talking about. That is just a fraction of the picture though.

Conor and I are growing though and are changing and becominc closer to friends here, slowly. Damn work, real life.

That's all for now.

why we are better than you

2005-09-27T22:33:00.000-07:00

anna isn't visiting you september 29th through october 2nd is she? nope didn't think so.

speaking of october... it will be 2 years alyssa and i were wed on the 11th. yay team haggerty!

current terror alert level.

2005-09-11T20:04:00.000-07:00

the letter of the day is "E" for elevated!

i swear i just saw a tumble weed...

2005-09-09T21:47:00.000-07:00

did i just piss off the 2 readers of this blog?

the cliches just write themselves!

2005-08-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

we all know the army needs more flag wavin', beer swillin', church lovin', mullet wearin', gun totin', tough guys... but where to find them?

a question for the 2 of you who read this:

2005-08-11T14:23:00.000-07:00

if the war is wrong, then why is it considered "honorable" for people to fight in it? wouldnt it be more honorable for "our troops" to refuse to fight? wouldnt it be more honorable to go to jail than to take part in an unjust war? i am really looking for some response here, please.

this is more exciting to me than it should be...

2005-08-02T18:59:00.000-07:00

according to some website...

...makes me proud.

-conor

i am beginning to think...

2005-07-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

alyssa and i had different ideas of what this blog would be for. not that its bad at all. if you hadnt noticed alyssa uses this space to catch up, talk about whats going on in her/our lives. i however talk more about ideas and thoughts.

if you know alyssa at all, you know she is a story teller. if alyssa and i told the same story, alyssa would end up telling at least three stories. there would be very little linear flow, and some details would be exagerated. she would probably even get up and act some of it out, you could say she is animated. her story is more about the emotion and the truth behind the story, not just the story itself.

my version would be pretty much to the point, and as concise as possible. i would only talk about the details i thought were pertinant. i would try and tell the story without anything extra and let the hearer extract the emotion and truth from the details. i like to lay it all out nice and neat, with a beginning and and end.

now, im not saying one is better than the other, and i hope my obvious bias isnt getting in the way. i was just re-reading our blog and noticed this pattern. you know, i think its great. i think thats why alyssa and i work so well. we fuction in such different ways, and its obvious in a lot of places in our life, but i can truly appreciate the purpose and validity. its beautiful. and i love hearing my wife tell stories, even though sometimes i cant help but interject and correct some of the details.

-conor

"Mean Girls" is ruined forever...

2005-07-15T18:03:00.000-07:00

last thursday our dear friends kacie and emily came from minnesota to denver for a visit. we took them to watercourse for breakfast on friday. we went to some crappy swim beach in morrison, but it was fun. saturday evening we settled in to watch 'mean girls', a movie which i am slightly embarassed to admit i was excited to see.

about half way through the movie emily took a phone call and walked into the kitchen. i couldnt hear what was going on, but alyssa and kacie jumped up and ran to the kitchen because emily was frantic. "rachael is dead!" alyssa summed up into words the knot that was forming in my gut, "oh, alex, poor alex!"

alex grudem is one of our closest friends from minneapolis. alyssa met him at school her freshman year and they have since then been very close. alex and i quickly became great friends when i moved to minnesota. we were roomates for a while until alyssa and i were married.

on april 3rd of this year, alyssa and i went back to minneapolis for the wedding of alex and rachael freeman. alex and rachael started dating in february of '04. she was already part of our circle of frends as well as her brother luke. they were engadged in august of that year.

admittedly alyssa and i never got as close to rachael as we were to alex, but we gladly called her our friend, and alex was very much in love. he treated her like a queen. kinda put the guys i know, including myself, to shame.

rachael was killed in a car accident on saturday july 9th. hours after we got the news, and after we had all calmed down, we were in the car headed for minnesota. there was no way we were going to be away from alex.

on our drive alyssa talked to oliver, alex's brother. he told us that upon seeing her body at the hospital with luke, alex began praising God. He praised God for being sovereign and for giving him such a beatiful gift if only for a short while.

it was the most exauhsting week of my life. very little sleep and more crying than i have ever done. most of the time we spent just hanging out with alex at his apartment. we spent days sitting in his living room looking at wedding pictures, helping alex with the 10 or so volumes of mix c.d.'s he planned to play at her visitation, sitting outside smoking cigarettes, remembering rachael, crying, and holding eachother. he was surounded by family and friends, some of which traveled from all over the states to be there. alex was not the only person devastated by rachaels death, but everyone seemed to surround him. i think it made people feel closer to rachael, being with alex at their apartment, her jacket still on the coat rack and her shoes still outside the door.

there was a visitation on wednesday. we saw her body. it didnt look like her. the body was bloated, grey, caked with make-up, and most noticably there was no smile on her face. no life. not her.

this experience changed many peoples lives profoundly, and in different ways. a father and mother lost their daughter of 23 years. a brother lost his little sister whom he adored. a 25 year old man is now a widower after 3 months of marriage. many people will miss their friend, all the beauty and even all the things we wouldnt consider very flattering. emily said she wished her friend and ex-roomate could still be there even just to annoy her. friendships were strengthened and even some new bonds were made out of this tragedy. many came to understand we are not our flesh. and some who do not know Jesus came to see a picture of his love.

there was a funeral and burial on thursday. it was beautiful. alex's faith is being tested, but it is strong, because his foundation is in the Love of God. he is struggling, having a hard time praying, but i know Gods grace can handle that. we had to leave early the next morning to come back home to denver. it was very difficult to leave. we want to be there for alex in the middle of the night if he needs us, but we know from what we saw, that he wont be alone. God has placed in his life what he needs to go on. its just hard not knowing what part we can play.

getting back to life as usual is going to be the hardest part for us. i cant even comprehend what it will be like for alex, rachaels friends, and all her family. i pray that Gods Grace, Love, and Peace be poured out on them all.

-conor

Tales from Tennyson Center for Children

2005-07-01T18:20:00.000-07:00

I love my job, but this last week has been hell on wheels.

I (incase you have forgotten) take care of 7-11 year old boys who have been abused or neglected. We have to restrain this little kids if they are harming their selves or others (sometimes it's more complicated than that, but you get the gest).

This last week we got a new boy. In one day he was restrained 4 fucking times. It was horrible. I came home with bruises, bite marks, and claw marks that were way too deep to look like a fingernail did that. Not all of my wounds were from the same boy........sad I know.

We have another new boy that shits his pants on a regular basis. Sometimes he just sits in it, sometimes he hides his soiled clothes in his room and it permeates the whole cottage. The worst part is, he's totally sensitive about it, so he lies about it. Sometimes I want to say, "Dude your shit stinks you can't hide it from us!" But he continues to lie.

Jamie is one of the most frustrating kids, but he's my favorite. He's getting adopted next week. I'm really happy for him, but man I am going to miss that little boy. He's ten years old and only weighs 46lbs. He was VERY neglected.
Sometimes I think he's a little schitzo. He talkes about "good Jamie and bad Jamie" as two seperate people. He says his "blue nerve in his head brings out bad Jamie and he can't help it when he hits people."
The best thing I think he ever said was this:

My supervisor is Mexican. He was very upset with her so he says, in a small fraile shout, "get away from me you......you......NIGGER!" My supervisor said, "Jamie do not use words you don't know the meaning of." He says, "I know what it means! It means......it means......AMERICAN INDIAN!"
My boss left the room, because she could not keep from laughing. Needless to say he got a consequence for using that language, but come on......could you keep a straight face?

One time he shouted at me, "I don't know what this means, but you are an EFFING ASSHOLE!" That's right he did not say fucking he said effing. It was so hard to keep a staight face.

alyssa

those pesky ten commandments

2005-07-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

here is an article from sojourners that pretty much sums up how i feel about this issue (sorry this is so long, i would just link to it, but the site requires registration) :

The Supreme Court got it right on religion
by David Batstone
This week the Supreme Court issued two controversial judgments on the display of religious monuments in public places. The two 5-4 rulings allowed the Ten Commandments to remain as part of an exhibit of monuments on the grounds of the Texas statehouse but barred postings of the same biblical text in two Kentucky courthouses.

The Supreme Court baffles me at the moment. At least the unpredictability of its judgments makes for highly suspenseful drama. Regardless, the majority opinion got it right this week. I readily admit to my detractors that we are dealing in shades of gray here. What I would like to draw attention to is the intention behind each decision.

The justices clearly affirmed the valuable contribution that religion makes to civic life. The Ten Commandments monument on the grounds of the Texas Capitol is one of 17 monuments and 21 historical markers that adorn a public park that envelopes the Capitol. Symbolically, the exhibit celebrates that religion has shaped American history and merits a place smack-dab in the middle of the public square.

"Of course, the Ten Commandments are religious," Chief Justice Rehnquist noted in his comments bolstering the majority opinion. He then added the linchpin: "Simply having religious content or promoting a message consistent with a religious doctrine does not run afoul of the Establishment Clause."

Some secularists are bent on stripping the role of religion in public life, of course. But they are dead wrong when they take the "separation of church and state" to mean that people of faith should keep their religious sentiments hidden away in the privacy of a closet in their home.

No Christian, Jew, Muslim, or other person of faith should feel coerced to suppress their faith in the workplace, at the social security administration office, or at school. Get over it, secularists, "G--" has never been a taboo subject in American society and never will be. People are free to show up in public wearing their faith on their sleeves.

The Supreme Court ruling against the Kentucky monuments had a quite different intention. In Kentucky, monuments displaying the Ten Commandments were posted alone by orders of county governments. They added secular documents only after a suit was filed - evidence that the government's motivation was religious, the Court said.

The key question in each case hinged on whether the display of religious monuments violates the First Amendment's prohibition against an official "establishment" of religion. The state, in other words, cannot identify itself with a particular religion. American legal tradition thereby protects the integrity of citizens to pursue their own religious traditions without the interference of the state.

Many Christian conservatives interpreted the Kentucky decision as yet another expression of hostility to their faith, and a deviation from the intent of the Constitution's framers. They operate under the assumption that "America is a Christian nation." But they are as wrongheaded as the secularists. I, for one, don't want the government to start speaking for God or claiming God's blessing, even if it is my faith tradition being referenced. Why would any devout Christian or Jew want a county courthouse to equate its application of law to the deep moral justice that the Ten Commandments demands?

In sum, the intention of the Court's decision was to undergird the free expression of religion, yet prevent the association of the state with a sole religion. Lest we lose ourselves in the application of law to these two particular cases, can we at least come to agreement regarding the importance of this distinction for American civic life?

by the way, why in the world do super conservative christians think it make sense to post commandments, that include "you shall have no other gods before Me", in the courts of a country where religious freedom is protected?

-conor

am i hearing you correctly mr. rove?

2005-06-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK (AP) -- Speaking in a Manhattan ballroom just a few miles north of ground zero, Karl Rove said on Wednesday night that the Democratic party did not understand the consequences of the Sept. 11 attacks.

''Liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer
therapy and understanding for our attackers,'' Rove said. ''Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 and the attacks and prepared for war.''

pretty convenient that everyone with an opinion fits into these nice little polotical boxes of "liberal" and "conservative". makes it easy to polarize what is right and wrong how you would like to present it... makes it easy to pit people against eachother.

Rove, President Bush's chief political advisor, spoke at the state Conservative Party's annual dinner. He praised the conservative movement's success, calling it ''the guiding philosophy for the White House, the Senate, the House.''

Rove said the Democratic Party made the mistake of calling for ''moderation and restraint'' after the terrorist attacks.

''Conservatives saw what happened to us on 9/11 and said we will defeat our enemies. Liberals saw what happened to us and said we must understand our enemies.''

ok, we should just smash opposition without understanding why we are being opposed? understanding those who hate us couldn't possibly help us in avoiding making these kinds of enemies, could it?

Rove also denounced Sen. Dick Durbin's comments comparing interrogation at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp to the methods of Nazis and other repressive regimes. He said the statements have been broadcast throughout the Middle East, putting American troops in greater danger. Durbin has since apologized for the remarks.

''No more needs to be said about the motives of liberals,'' Rove said.

ok, so durbin's comparison was pretty exagerated, but aren't you missing the point? by focusing the attention on whether his comparison was totally fair, we are not paying attention to the fact that these people at guantanamo are being treated like animals. they have not been convicted and some of them have been released because we couldnt convict them (and some of those have been sent into the custody of governments who hold torture as a policy.) their rights under the Geneva Convention have been trampled. and above all this, if we are a country of Christians (or the conservative republicans are a party of christians) shouldnt we be conducting ourselves as Christ would?! well, we aren't!!!

if durbin, or anyone says, "look at the shit we are doing to these people!" and others in the world hate us for it, and even try to kill americans because of it, its not the fucking messangers fault!!! if people hate us for treating their people like shit, instead of hiding it, perhaps we should emulate Christ and love our enemies.

-conor

Eh........

2005-06-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

That's how I feel today. EH.

I hate when I'm feeling totally unmotivated and completely anxious about....I don't know what. No.Really. I don't know what is bothering me..I hate when this happens. It's like my subconcious is struggling with something....and at times I feel I know what it might be linked to, but I really don't know. So I sit and wait, and pray to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.

I think part of it is....I just feel like shit about myself today. So I'm a talker......this I know and everyone that knows me knows. But I find myself in these gatherings of our new denver friends feeling like I have to do something....not quite impress, but entertain or something. I say things that I know are probably inappropriate or at least not the right setting for the comment and I know I'm doing it, but I can't stop. Why? Sometimes it's because the things I have to say really are funny other times I think it might be this:

I long for intimacy in my relationships. I know this takes a natural course, but it's as if I want instant gratification, I want it now with all those I love and those I want to love me. Sometimes it's overwhelming, because I have a real job and a husband and not a whole lot of time to spend forming those intimate bonds so when I do hang out.....I WANT IT TO BE PERFECT. Yet somehow I always fuck it up. Or at least I think so. And some of the inappropriate things I say, would not seem inappropriate to my friends back home (Minnesota), they'd all laugh and agree because they know me.

I want to be known and not have to work everytime I hang out with someone. But it's my nature.

So I continue to say stupid ass things, offend people, make my husband sometimes embarrassed, and feel at times I am people's "projects" to mold into this ladylike woman that will someday learn to harness my tongue. When I know there is truth to that (learning to harness my tongue), but it still annoys me. Because I do know when and how to do this, I just haven't been lately.

Rant Rant Rant.
now i must clean my disgusting bathroom.

alyssa

i am not a patriot

2005-06-16T16:57:00.000-07:00

...sorry. please don't hate me. i know this is not a popular thing to say. in fact questioning someone's patriotism is often considered an insult. ive just done a lot of thinking/changing/growing over the last year or so, and much of my foundation has been shaken. i can no longer pledge my allegiance to a country, institution, or a flag.

i can hear it already, "you are so ungrateful! countless soldiers have DIED so you could have the freedom to even say that!" i am so glad i have the freedoms i have. i am aware of them, and i am aware these freedoms were fought for. what i am coming to understand (not that i didn't know it before, but its implications are more clear to me now) is that everything that is "good" about america isn't exclusive to america. i love freedom, i love liberty, and i love justice, but these are not one country's inventions. a country and its leaders can, will, and have changed, made mistakes, and been totally in the wrong. so when i give my allegiance to a country, i either have to give it my loyalty regardless of its actions, or pick and choose what about that country is great. if the latter is true, then isnt it a bit arbitrary? for example: the white supremacist is a patriot. he loves his country and feels passionate about keeping it pure... and white. and the urban social worker is a patriot. she loves her country because it is a place where all races are seen as equals.

this being my first blog rant, i realize i dont know the ropes yet. i hope i am not coming off as preachy or patronizing. this is not my intention. i guess i just want to vent, to get what i am feeling out in words, and hopefully someone will read this and give me some feedback.

-conor

JUST CALL US AUNT AND UNCLE

2005-06-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

That's right, my sister, Brandi, had her baby! His name is Cooper Owen Perdew and was born on Memorial Day. He was 6lbs and some oz. (does it really matter? he's teeny tiny!)

When we were home we got to see him and love him up. He's perfect in every way.....no really......not a flaw, no pointy head, no red scratchy face......perfect. I was kind of a baby hog, but please, we live in denver. Basically, I cried off and on the entire time.

Holding him, looking at his tiny toes and fingers, feeling his every movement reminded me yet again of how incredible creation is you know? We see it all around us, but there's something special that reminds us when we're holding a new born. How intricate creation is.

we'll post pictures when we figure out how :)
alyssa

Our very first post.

2005-06-13T20:53:00.000-07:00

So this is it. All of you bastards made us do this :)

We figure this is a great way to communicate with anyone who wants or cares. An update on our lives if you will.

So here it is:

We just got back from Catherine Craigmyle's wedding. It was amazing! A lot of hard work, but wonderful, and well worth it.

I was laid off for a month and a half (ew). Now I am working for Tennyson Center for Children. This is a place that started out a hundred years ago as a Christian orphanage. Now it is a place that has the goal to stop violence (and the circular pattern of abuse) in families. The children that live and go to school here are children whose parent's have lost parental rights, or have been placed here because they are out of control.
It is a very theraputic place. Each child has individual therapy, recreational therapy, music and art therapy, etc. If families are still involved or if a child will be placed in foster care setting or be adopted there is also family therapy.
So, very intense, but great job.

Conor is working at Starbucks, but is looking into classes to go back to school for nursing.

We got a dog! Yeah! Her name (not chosen by us) is Juliet. She's amazing and sweet. We think she is part border collie and part austrailian shepherd.

By having this blog we are not proclaiming computer knowledge, so give us a break ok........we still need time to figure this whole blog thing out. I sound like my mom now......"I just don't know how to work the damn thing." We're not that inept.

alyssa